New day, new platform

So, this post carries with it a very heavy message, one that I hope you will take very seriously. As I mentioned in my first post today, this blog serves as not only a place fo rme to blog about my experiences as Miss Finger Lakes, but also to clear my head and unload. Well, I feel as if I have been on a very tumultuous emotional trip... time to empty the luggage.

Last weekend, I received a very scare text message: my best friend was considering ending her life. This is not the first time this has happened this year, or even since I have known her (8 and a half years). It was triggered (as it was this past summer) by her boyfriend breaking up with her. I know, however, that there is so much more that she has been dealing with since before we had even met. What kills me the most is that I know, at this point, there is nothing I can do to give her the help that she really needs to stop hurting so badly that something like a break-up would make her want to take her life. I know that when things like this happen in a person's life, it is up to them to want to seek help; friends can only be there for them along the way.

What I have been dealing with mentally and emotionally since this past weekend has been incredibly painful. I wish that I could just be there for her, and I wish that she would love herself enough to recognize that things just aren't right and that it is not enough to expect her friends to come running to her everytime she wants to die. I understand being there for a friend when they need you, but after so long of watching my friend make self-destructive situations and then berate me for "not being a good enough friend." It tore me apart to listen to her tell me that I'm not a good friend and I don't care about her, because if I did, I wouldn't be judging her, telling her shes needs help, and I would just be hugging her and letting her cry and loving her for who she is. The thing is, I love her so much as a sister to me. I cannot sit back and let her tell me what kind of friend I should be. I think that a real friend would be able to see a situation the way that a person who is in her position just can't, and try to guide them in the right direction. A real friend will recognize their own limitations in such a serious situation, and not try to be the "hero" or the "life saver." I want my friend to have the most wonderful in the world, but I cannot make that happen for her, only she can.

This situation has inspired me to re-structure my platform a bit. Don't worry, y'all, I will still be an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault; that part of me will never change, and that passion for fighting will never die. I think that there are a lot of other young women who are suffering from a number of problems, and they deserve an advocate, too. That is why I am changing my platform to "Strong Minds and Hearts Make Strong Women," which will promote mental and emotional well-being in order to become the best and the strongest we can be. Those who know me, or who have read my blog, know that I have been through an awful lot, and I'm not the only one. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am today, but having a really strong mind helped me to develop a strong heart, and I could not be a happier person despite the adversity. We will all go through out trials and tribulations, but being strong of mind and heart will see us through them.

But they will not get our biology homework done. Which is due in less than an hour. I must end here, but please take my words seriously and send a quick prayer to my friend so that she may feel empowered to seek the help that she needs. Thank you so much.