Thursday, November 12, 2009

New day, new platform

So, this post carries with it a very heavy message, one that I hope you will take very seriously. As I mentioned in my first post today, this blog serves as not only a place fo rme to blog about my experiences as Miss Finger Lakes, but also to clear my head and unload. Well, I feel as if I have been on a very tumultuous emotional trip... time to empty the luggage.

Last weekend, I received a very scare text message: my best friend was considering ending her life. This is not the first time this has happened this year, or even since I have known her (8 and a half years). It was triggered (as it was this past summer) by her boyfriend breaking up with her. I know, however, that there is so much more that she has been dealing with since before we had even met. What kills me the most is that I know, at this point, there is nothing I can do to give her the help that she really needs to stop hurting so badly that something like a break-up would make her want to take her life. I know that when things like this happen in a person's life, it is up to them to want to seek help; friends can only be there for them along the way.

What I have been dealing with mentally and emotionally since this past weekend has been incredibly painful. I wish that I could just be there for her, and I wish that she would love herself enough to recognize that things just aren't right and that it is not enough to expect her friends to come running to her everytime she wants to die. I understand being there for a friend when they need you, but after so long of watching my friend make self-destructive situations and then berate me for "not being a good enough friend." It tore me apart to listen to her tell me that I'm not a good friend and I don't care about her, because if I did, I wouldn't be judging her, telling her shes needs help, and I would just be hugging her and letting her cry and loving her for who she is. The thing is, I love her so much as a sister to me. I cannot sit back and let her tell me what kind of friend I should be. I think that a real friend would be able to see a situation the way that a person who is in her position just can't, and try to guide them in the right direction. A real friend will recognize their own limitations in such a serious situation, and not try to be the "hero" or the "life saver." I want my friend to have the most wonderful in the world, but I cannot make that happen for her, only she can.

This situation has inspired me to re-structure my platform a bit. Don't worry, y'all, I will still be an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault; that part of me will never change, and that passion for fighting will never die. I think that there are a lot of other young women who are suffering from a number of problems, and they deserve an advocate, too. That is why I am changing my platform to "Strong Minds and Hearts Make Strong Women," which will promote mental and emotional well-being in order to become the best and the strongest we can be. Those who know me, or who have read my blog, know that I have been through an awful lot, and I'm not the only one. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am today, but having a really strong mind helped me to develop a strong heart, and I could not be a happier person despite the adversity. We will all go through out trials and tribulations, but being strong of mind and heart will see us through them.

But they will not get our biology homework done. Which is due in less than an hour. I must end here, but please take my words seriously and send a quick prayer to my friend so that she may feel empowered to seek the help that she needs. Thank you so much.

Coming out of hiding

So, it's been exactly two months since my last post... which is shameful, to be frank. I committed to this blog knowing that I should be updating it regularly, be it for the sake of my (2) readers or just to unload the nonsense in my head so it doens't get too heavy and detach itself completely from my neck and jsut roll to the floor. I'm almost at the point; my head has packed its bags and is on its way out. This is my attempt to get it screwed back on tightly, and to be a responsible blog-writer. I have some very important things to write about, so bear with me!

Last month I had the pleasure of being a part of the Homecoming Parade, as well as the pretigous Orange Circle Awards ceremony. The Orange Circle Awards were given to several members of the SU community for their outstanding achievements in and unwavering dedication to community service in and around Syracuse University. I was escorting my award recipient, Marilyn Tickner, as a "beneficiary" of her hard work. Marilyn worked tirelessly for the Syracuse Responds initiative, where volunteers spend countless hours cold-calling alumni and other possible donors in order to raise money to give out to students as a supplement to their financial aid packages. My financial aid advisor passed my name along to the people organizing this program, and I suddenly became the poster child for SU Responds. The funny thing is, I didn't receive any financial aid from it-- I wasn't even eligible! I honestly did not mind, as I receive more than enough financial aid. What mattered to me is that my story and experiences were enough to compel the alumni to donate money to this wonderful program. My boyfriend did receive something from SU Responds, though! Anyway, I was thrilled to have the chance to take part in this award ceremony and meet one of the volunteers who dedicated their time to raising money for the students here. I even got to walk the stage in my crown and sash! I didn't have much of a choice, as I was expected on the alumni float immediately after the ceremony for the homecoming parade. Meeting Marilyn was a pleasure and an honor, and I look forward to hopefully participating in more fundraising efforts for the students here.

Beauty queens live for two things: pageants and parades (well, 4 if you're in the MAO system; the third would be scholarship and the fourth would be community service!). The Homecoming parade was supposed to be exciting, with hundreds of SU football fans lining the streets in support of the home team. The trusty central New York weather, however, had other plans. It was downpouring during the parade, but luckily I was bundled up on a tented float. Unfortunately, that tent sort of masked my crown from the few on-lookers that we had, so most people that I was waving at didn't even realize who I was or why I was there! There was one frat house that figured me out; they started shouting some pretty.... morally questionable things. I didn't let it bother me, though, because I was having a great time chatting with the alumni on the float and hearing their stories about their days at SU. One of them, a particularly drunk but well-meaning man, started asking everyone for $20 so that I could compete against next year. It was very awkward, but I just laughed it off with everyone until he finally gave up and resorted to cheering and waving. I look forward to next year's parade; hopefully, I will be a titleholder once more and the sun will shine on us! Speaking of the sun, it sure was shining brightly the next day for the football game, which was played INSIDE the Carrier Dome. I guess the sun, like me on most weekends, decided to take it time getting out of bed that weekend.

Thank you for your patience I took a million years to updating. I have one more post coming, but I wanted to split them up into two posts because the next one is VERY important. Also, in the first week of December, I will be participating in a radiothon at the Golisano Children's Hospital (the CMN hospital of Syracuse) to raise money for kids with cancer! I am very excited about this, and I promise I will blog about it in a relatively speedy fashion :)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Upstate Golisano Children's Hospital

When she is crowned a titleholder in the Miss America Organization, it is that young lady's responsibility to promote important values like community service and empowerment. Each titleholder is required to not only have a personal platform, but also to promote the national platform of MAO, which is the Children's Miracle Network, whenever possible. Yesterday, I had the honor to tour the brand new Upstate Golisano Children's Hospital, which is the official CMN hospital of Syracuse and 17 surrounding counties.

I was awe-struck during my tour of this breathtaking facility. There are 71 private patient rooms, each equipped with HDTV's, PlayStations, private bathrooms with showers and pull-out beds for family members. There are 15 pediatric intensive care rooms, with a window in the wall so that a nurse may sit at the window outside the room, continue her work on a computer, and have constant eye contact with the patient. There are 12 rooms customized for patients with cancer and blood disorders. There are six rooms customized for epilepsy patients. The physical therapy rooms are equipped with ceiling tracks to better assist children who suffer from obesity. There is the multi-sensory room, which provides children a soothing and attention-engaging environment to ease their anxieties, as well as to help children with autism. There are classrooms equipped with books and computers, to allow for video and audio conferencing between the child and their school so they can keep up with their studies. There treatment rooms where particularly painful or uncomfortable procedures (shots, anyone? Ick!) are done, so that the children do not associate discomfort with their living space. Of course, there are six playrooms so that the childhoods of the patients are not stopped short by illness. There is the interfaith chapel, which provides a calm, intimate space for children and families to gather their thoughts and get some peace of mind. Rev. Louise has asked me to come back and appear for her half-hour children's group :) There is a performance space, for the children to watch various shows, movies, and musical groups. There are large family areas, with chairs, phones, showers, a microwave and fridge, as well as apartment rooms with double beds and laundry facilities for families who travel from afar and refuse to leave their loved one.There is a special TreeHouse elevator, which allows incoming patients to arrive right at their special part of the hospital without having to travel through the intimidating, scary regular ER. There is the TreeHouse Cafe which is home to Tim Horton's and Coldstone Creamery. The manager is planning on having Miss Finger Lakes come back and scoop ice cream for an ice cream social :)

I know that I have missed an awful lot of what I saw, but I didn't happen to take too many pictures. No amount of blogging, though, can do any justice; this facility is outstanding, a state-of-the-art care center for the children who will inevitably need it. What I most liked about this hospital is its level of attention paid to not only the future patients but also to the most important people in patients' lives. A hospital with apartments? This place is nicer than most hotels I've been in. I know from experience what it is like to sit in a hospital waiting area while someone you love is suffering just down the hall, and often times, you never know if your whole life is going to change in a matter of minutes.... it's incredibly scary, and having been in that position countless times over the past 12 years, I can say that this hospital is doing a wonderful job at foreseeing those difficult circumstances and preparing for them with facilities that are as comfortable as possible.

Imagine: A family has their child rushed via ambulence to the hospital. The patient is brought in through the TreeHouse entrance, straight up to warmly-decorated Children's Hospital to be examined, while the family waits in the family area, able to watch TV or surf the web to occupy their minds while they wait for the doctor. Say the doctor has some particularly bad news; the family is ushered into a private discussion room, so that the details can be discussed in an intimate setting. If the family does not really understand what this diagnosis means for them and their child, they may go to the education center, staffed with professional librarians and stocked with literature on a number of different conditions and diseases, so that they may gain some insight into what exactly their child is suffering from. The interfaith chapel will provide a space for them to gather their thoughts quietly, and maybe send a little prayer asking for guidance during this time. If the family has to stay with their child, there are pull-out beds in every room, and the hospital is more than happy to supply pillows and blankets. There are private shower facilities for the family in every room.

I can go on and on with this scenario, but I think you get the idea. This place is incredible, exactly what Syracuse and the 17 surrounding counties needs to ensure the safety and well-being of our children. No child is ever turned away, regardless of economic status. This is something that parents need to be aware of, because in these tough economic times, they need to know that their children need not suffer just because of lack of health insurance or finances.

As I was leaving, I was given a baby pine tree as a parting gift. I want to plant my pine tree in memory of Erin Maxwell at Emerson J. Dillon Middle School, the school that she was attending when she died a year ago. Who is Erin Maxwell, you ask? She was an 11 year old girl who lived in deplorable conditions about 30 minutes north of Syracuse University; Social Services had been to her home over 50 times, the school nurse gave her clean clothes everyday to wear instead of the cat urine-soaked clothes she came to school in (which will happen when you have over 70 cats in your home, overflowing with dead kittens in the freeze), and the school principal paid out of pocket everyday for her to eat lunch because her family refused to give her lunch money or accept the school's application for free lunch. She was found by her stepbrother, a grown man named Alan Jones, strangled by a rope in her room (which was locked on the outside and had chicken wire on the inside of the door). The autopsy showed asphyxiation as the leading cause of death, with sexual trauma as a contributing factor. As a human being, this type of situation is what disgusts me about the system currently in place. Because her parents were "exceeding minimum standards for care," she was not removed from the home. As a social work major, this is exactly the type of child, the life, that I want to save, and as Miss Finger Lakes, I would want her to be able to look at me and say "I want to be just like her." But that can never happen now, and we cannot as a society be ignorant to situations like this. Her parents were found guilty of all counts of neglect and face up to two years in jail (such justice, eh?) and her stepbrother is currently on trial for her murder. Hopefully, some justice will be brought so this little angel may rest in peace.

My experience at the Golisano Children's Hospital was amazing, and I encourage everyone to take a tour of the facility before it opens for business. This is a wonderful opportunity for the Syracuse community to ensure the healthfulness of the children in the area and surrounding areas. So go, grab an ice cream cone and a coffee, and see what this amazing facility has to offer. While you're at it silently thank Tom Golisano, the Children's Miracle Network, Upstate Medical University, and all others involved in making this a dream come true for the children of Syracuse.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Add to the resume: Master of Ceremonies

So, last weekend, I had the absolute pleasure of being the MC/hostess at the Sweetheart/Little/Junior/Teen Miss Finger Lakes pageant. I thought I would be waltzing in there to a script and a microphone... but of course, it would not be so easy. I also learned that I am not so great at improvising entertainment on the spot!! It was so much fun though, and the little girls were all gorgeous and perfectly behaved angels.

My primary duty was to conduct the on-stage interviews. Because our teen pageant is held at the same time as the little girls' pageants, there was no talent or private interview; for each age division, it was simply evening gown and one or two on-stage questions, and then during the year leading up to the state pageant, the organization is going to work with our new teen to get her ready. There were no questions written for me to choose from, so I had to come up with some right on the spot. For the little girls, I kept it simple: what do you want to be when you grow up, what's your favorite color/tv show/food, etc. One of the little girls, Kanzas, scolded me because I forgot to ask her what she was going to be when she grows up! She wants to be a doctor and a hair dresser :)

When it came time for the teen division, I was very excited. Katrina, Miss Finger Lakes OT 2009, gave a beautiful farewell speech that made me almost cry (!!) and performed her HILARIOUS monologue for everyone. When I was interviewing the girls, I tried to remember that I was once in their position, so I wanted to keep the questions "answerable", which is now a word, but also deep enough so that the judges would be able to really determine in a short amount of time which contestant would make the best Miss Finger Lakes OT 2010. While the votes were being tallied, Katrina and I chatted on-stage to give the audience and the contestants an idea of what it is like to be Miss Finger Lakes OT. We talked about her year, the state pageant, and the expectations that we all have of her successor: good grades, dedication to community service and a healthy lifestyle! When all was said and done, I think they made a GREAT choice. Desiree Miller is our new Miss Finger Lakes OT, and she is one of most eloquent, well-mannered and sweet girls I have ever met. To top it off, her platform is focused on rape, which of course I approve of 100%. She is going to represent us beautifully, and I am going to do all that I can to ensure that she is totally prepared by next June!

So far, I have competed in a pageant, judged a pageant, and hosted a pageant. I'm not sure how much further my pageant repertoire can expand, but I'm certainly up for suggestions :)! It gives you a whole new perspective on the entire process each time you're involved in a new way, and my respect for those in pageant world just increases every time, and I know that Desiree's induction to the MAO family will provide for her similar experiences to grow as an individual and as a young woman.

Well, that's about it for now. Classes start in two weeks and I am INCREDIBLY excited.... I have a lot of plans for my crown and my banner this semester, and I am seriously itching to get going! TTFN, ta-ta for now!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Pageant week: Miss New York 2009

Well, this post is only a few weeks overdue, but simply for the reason that I have been crazy-busy trying to settle back into real life... what with Independence Day and my best friend's 21st birthday going on, it's been tough to get myself in front of a computer long enough to update! Well, here I am.

I have to say, the Miss New York experience is quite an intense one. It is cheerleading competition, IMTA, the school musical and prom all rolled into one. Twelve hours a day in heels results in losing 3 pounds and a permenantly deformed spine... BUT, on the bright side, I can now spend an entire night in heels without flinching :) Beauty is pain, people. The choreography was amazing, thanks to Kent Parham, without whom I would have never known to put my hands on my waist instead of my hips ("Emphasize your small parts, not your wide parts!"), nor would I be able to french turn (although I still haven't got it down just right... but Miss Metropolitan helped tremendously with that!) I have to admit, all of the choreography made it a little intimidating during swimsuit and evening gown; I found myself more concerned with doing the steps right, lest I incur the wrath of Kent (juuust kidding! He's a big softy :)) I was very nervous, much more nervous than I had been at Finger Lakes... if only my director had told me BEFORE the friday night swimsuit prelims that at Miss Finger Lakes I had received the highest swimsuit score... that might have boosted me a little bit, but it's ok, there is no one to blame here for anything, because I still had a TON of fun.

Thursday night was also a very sad night, as we all know it was the night Michael Jackson passed away. We were all getting ready for prelims when we received the news; it put us all in a very somber mood. Rest In Peace, MJ.

On Thursday I was to do my on-stage question, which I believe went very well, and my talent. Now, there were only two monologues this year, myself and Lynn Tryon (Miss Mohawk Valley). Lynn was contestant four, and I was contestant seven. So, just imagine my face when, four seconds into Lynn's monologue, the body mic buzzed and went dead. Kent took one look at me and said, "What do you wanna do, you want a hand mic or a stand mic?" I said neither, for two reasons: Lynn did not have a mic, so I wanted to keep it fair and level the playing field, and also because I had not rehearsed it with any other mic and felt it might come off as far less natural than I wanted. Beside, we've all heard my talk; I'm the loudest person in the world, blame 11 years of cheerleading for that, and I knew I'd be able to project ok. They left the floor mics on for me, to give me a little supplemental feedback, and it turned out even better than during rehearsals! So all in all, it was not such a bad thing.

I did not win any preliminary awards this year, nor did I win the Miss America Academic Award... I was actually pretty bummed about that, considering that I had a 4.0 and could have really used the scholarship. However, even a 4.0 can't beat a Columbia grad! So, Melanie (Miss Southeast NY) certainly deserved it. I did win a contestant basket, though!! It was the Miss Outstanding Teen Buffalo basket, and I wanted it because there was a t-shirt with my favorite football player, Terrell Owens, on it along with his signature quote: "Getcha popcorn ready!" Can't wait for football season to start!!

The other events of the week were a lot of fun; touring the city with Henry Hudson before going to Angelo's Prime 677 (absolutely incredibly dining experience right in Albany), the tour of the Capitol building (including the room where absolutely nothing is getting done), a fashion show at Colonie Center Mall compliments of Eli Wedel and his genius designs for NVM9 clothing (http://www.nvmber9.com/), and lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. We were welcomed so warmly into Albany, it made for a very fun week.

The Miss New York Outstanding Teen show was on Saturday night, and my teen Katrina did an AMAZING job! Her monologue was hilarious and she looked beautiful in evening gown. We were also treated to a stunning performance by Alexandra Mazzuchelli, Miss NY OT 2008. One problem I did have with the production, though, was the song choice for evening gown... a Chris Brown song?? Really?! This man has beaten and assaulted his girlfriend, and his music should absolutely not be associated with an organization that is meant to instill confidence in young women and empower them, and choosing to incorporate music by him is, to me, turning a blind eye to what he has done. Other than that, the show was wonderful, and congrats to Kara Kowalski, our new Miss NY OT! I know you will make us all very proud in Florida next month!

Finally, as all good things must come to an end, the finals were upon us. I did not make top ten, which I was honestly a bit surprised about. Having had the highest scores in swimuit, evening gown, and interview at Miss Finger Lakes, I felt like a very strong contender for the title and job of Miss New York. However, as I have been told and as I now realize, the judging process is very subjective and it is all about what each particular sees in you and every other girl. I know that I did a good job, but that I probably could have done better. Should I have the chance to go back next year, I know exactly what to fix. The top ten then became top five, and I couldn't have selected a better top five (well, besides myself being there of course ;)!) My girl Inga won 1st runner-up and I am SOOO happy for her!! Alyse was crowned Miss New York 2009, and the weird thing is, the second I laid eyes on her back in March at the Miss Manhattan/Greater Gotham/Metropolitan sweeper pageant, I just knew she would be the biggest competition and the one to worry about! Sure enough, my psychic abilities were confirmed, and she was crowned. I think she is incredibly deserving of the title, and the job, and I look forward to working with her and rooting for her in the Miss America 2010 pageant!! Hopefully I will be able to do that right from Las Vegas :)

The Miss New York experience was not what I expected, but it was incredibly worthwhile. I do think that I would like to continue competing next year. I know that, if I do, I am going to switch up my talent. (On that note: can any willing victim--I mean, person teach me how to sing?? Let me know!) This organization is so full of opportunity, promise and integrity, and I don't think I will be quite ready to say goodbye for good after I pass on my title in February. There are few things greater than surrounding yourself with amazing, beautiful, intelligent and dedicated people, and the honor of being one of them is unmeasurable. Thank you, pageant ladies, for welcoming me into the Miss NY family and giving me an incredible first-time experience. I hope I get to see you all again next year! And, to those of you who have aged out of the system, I hope you take away from your years in the Miss NY family some unforgettable experiences and life lessons, and keep doing what you love to do and let nothing stop you. It has been such a pleasure getting to know everyone.

For now, I am still Miss Finger Lakes, so I still have a LOT of work to do! The Golisano Children's Hospital is opening this fall in Syracuse, and will become the official CMN hospital here. I am working with the CMN rep to make an appearance at the grand opening, hopefully with Alyse if she is not too super busy! Until then, I'm outta here! <3

Monday, June 22, 2009

Before I Leave

So, I just got done reading Miss NY, Leigh-Taylor's, latest blog update, as well as having been keeping up with all of my other fellow contestants I'll be having the pleasure of spending the week with, and I thought I should dump out everything in my head onto my blog before I depart for Albany. Of all things, I've learned that blogging can be very cathartic.

The past couple weeks, particularly last week, have been very stressful. My work schedule was bumped up to practically full-time at work for a wretched conference, the gym has left me tattered and torn, and I'm sure my boyfriend is ready to pull his left arm out and beat himself over the head with it.... and that doesn't even begin to describe how I'M feeling right now!! I've been in NYC with him since Friday, the point of which was to be able to relax and unwind before the big week. I did everything I needed to do (or so I thought...) before we left, so I could really just kick back and have some good times with him and his family... SO not the case.

In addition to having woman issues this week, I've been incredibly irritable... and that will happen when you wake up between the hours of 4am and 6am every single day for a week straight! I am one of those people that throws myself 150% into everything that I do, and sometimes that means waking up in the middle of the night to ask myself interview questions, or rehearse my talent in my head, or go over in which order I will hit my stances during swimsuit (pretty foot before or after T-stance??) It's been really tough to drag myself out of bed on just a few hours of sleep for a week now, but I just can't help it! I'm thinking I might have to resort to Nyquil soon :/

One of the things that has been weighing down on me is nothing that I have any control over; the audience. When I won Miss Finger Lakes, I BURST into tears. Partly because I was so happy that I won; partly because that I was so shocked that I won; and mostly because I won, for the first time, and nobody was there in the audience for me. I should be used to this by now, but I think that the accomplishments are worse than the failures when you have no one to share the excitement with. I know that my boyfriend will not be attending this weekend's pageant festivities, because he simply does not have the money. I'm not like most of my fellow contestants, who have moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles that are there to offer support and help throughout the process, and who will be there in that audience. I know that I am where I am because I got myself here, and that's something to be proud of, but in the midst of PMS it's hard to appreciate that when all I want is people that love me to be in the audience for me. Am I complaining? Yes, I think so, I'm done now.

So, I think I'm going to go and try to take a nap... just kidding, I'm going to go do my economics homework (which will probably put me to sleep anyway). Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, blogspot.com, and I will see you after the pageant!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Colonial Days!

So, just a week and a half before the Miss New York pageant, I had a jam-packed weekend in Corning for the annual Colonial Days festivities, specifically the pageants and parade. I had a ton of fun, it gave me exactly the release I needed from all of the pageant-prep stress.

I drove down on Thursday for the first night of Colonial Days, for the Tiny Miss and Little Miss Colonial Days pageants. It was an absolute thrill for me to see all of these beautiful little girls doing what I love to do, and having the guts to get up on stage at such a young age when, at 21 years old, it's still nerve-wrecking for me!! We crowned two perfect winners that night as well as some runners-up and Miss Congenialities. I think the best part was being able to visit my little brothers and sisters, spend some time with them and just see my family for a little while.

Ok, a prize to whoever can follow me through this paragraph and actually make sense of it. I have five siblings, three brothers and two sisters, all through the same mother. Only two of those siblings have the same father...... sad, I know. Anywho, those two sibs are Joey (17) and Shey (14). They live with their dad Aaron who, by the way, is the coolest guy ever. He just got re-married in September, for which I was so honored to be a bridesmaid, to Wendy. Wendy has two children from a previous relationship, Trevor (9 I think?) and Lexi (13 I think...). Additionally, Aaron has another daughter, Courtney (9) from his second marriage (after my mom) who lives with him. SO, this house is FULL of kids, all of which are like blood related family to me that I love so much and that treat me like their favorite toy on Christmas whenever I come visit. I had a wonderful time just relaxing with them, hangin' out with Wendy girl-talking, and taking the kids to school on Friday morning. As you know, if you know me or if you've been keeping up with my blog, I really don't have a family, so being able to spend time with this one gives me that connection that I've been missing out on for pretty much half of my life, and it's just the greatest feeling in the world. Appreciate your families, people, because I am SO jealous of those of you who have moms and dads!!

Continuing on with Colonial Days, on Friday I had the great honor of being given a tour of Corning and Painted Post by the Mayor of Painted Post, Edward "Sandy" Franklin, Jr. with Sarah, the local Children's Miracle Network rep, and Leigh-Taylor Smith, Miss New York. I learned so much about Corning and everything that is done here and made here, and it was a spectacular learning experience for me. We then had a nice lunch, and made our way to the big tent for that evening's pageants, Little, Teen, and Miss Colonial Days. Leigh-Taylor and I presented Sarah with a check for the hospital in Elmira, money raised from the very pageant at which I was crowned! Being a part of the Miss America Organization has been rewarding in a million ways, and helping out the CMN has perhaps been the most rewarding. After the pageant, Leigh-Taylor and I headed to the hotel to get ready for a wild girls night out on Corning... which included a trip to Wal-Mart and some popcorn while watching Uptown Girls! It was good times :)

The parade the next day was really amazing, the second-largest professionally judged parade of marching bands next to the Macy's Day parade. It was super long, with thousands of people, and coincidentally it was Leigh-Taylor's very first parade as Miss New York, and I was very proud to have her in my central city of reign for that! I gotta tell you, your arms get REALLY tired after all that waving, though! It was so fun, seeing all the kids smiling up and waving. I hope to inspire a lot of girls to achieve all of the things they want to, and I hope to instill in them that they are all so beautiful and so sweet, and as long as they hold onto to that confidence they will accomplish incredible things.

After the parade, I helped hand out trophies to the marching bands that competed. When it was all said and done, I was on my way back to Syracuse, to wind down from the weekend and relax before I have to get my head back in the game... one week to go! Keep me in your thoughts!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

All for the Children! / Healthy Living

Well, it's been a while since my last post, so I have a few things to blab (blog?) about. First, I had a really great Memorial Day in Corning this year! I hope everyone else enjoyed their Memorial Days as well (I know you did, Miss Westchester! :)). My grandpa was a WWII veteran, and as soon as all of this pageant business is over I will be adding an American flag charm to my tattoo ankle bracelet [see, I'm absolutely addicted to ink, and I love tattoos that are symbolic for important things/people in my life, but I don't want to be completely covered in artwork. SO, my brilliant idea was to get an ankle bracelet tattoo to which I can add charms to represent things that are important to me] to commemorate him. He died two years ago on April 27, and I miss him so much everyday, especially when I make pasta (which I SWEAR I have not been doing since being crowned Miss Finger Lakes!!) because it is from him that I get my Italian genes.

For this Memorial Day, I got to ride on a convertible in the Corning Memorial Day Parade. I have never participated in a parade before, so it was very exciting for me! I had a little issue at first with my glasses; I was told by the eye doctor that I had serious corneal abrasions from wearing the same pair of contacts for too long, so I was forced into glasses for two weeks (I am absolutely BLIND!) At first, I refused to wear my glasses in the parade. It wasn't very fun, though, because I couldn't see who I was waving at. I eventually folded and put my glasses on, and it made all the difference in my day. I got to see all the beautiful little girls that were waving back at me and the cute little boys who were too shy to do so! I even heard one parent say to her daughter, "See, Miss Finger Lakes wears glasses too!" It made me feel really to know that at least someone else knew how I was feeling about wearing glasses, and I hope that I made her feel a little bit better.

On Sunday, May 31st (the two-year anniversary of the day my grandma died :'( yes, my grandparents died a month apart in 2007 and yes, I have a tattoo for her! A big one!) some of the Miss NY 2009 contestants and myself went to Albany to participate in the Children's Miracle Network Telethon. It is an annual weekend-long event during which CMN reaches out to the country in hopes of raising money in memory of past, in honor of present and in prepartion for future patients at CMN hospitals. Our responsibility was to man the phone lines and take down pledges from donators. This weekend, nearly $2.5 million was raised!! Our involvement with CMN as contestants is critical for several reasons. One, CMN is the national platform for the Miss America Organization. The moment she is crowned, Miss America becomes the Goodwill Ambassador for all CMN hospitals. As contestants, we know how important our younger generations are; they will be the future MAO contestants, after all! Second, for those of you who aren't aware, the MAO is incredibly focused on community service. By being involved with CMN, we are constantly giving back to our community and doing our part to alleviate the problems of a very special population, and as a social work student, that is something that I treasure very closely. Finally, as I've mentioned before, each contestant in this organization is required to have a personal platform. For many of us, the social issues to which we have committed ourselves may affect children that have been or may be treated at a CMN hospital. My platform deals with the issues of domestic violence and sexual assault. I know that these violences affect children regularly, as devastating as that is, and there may be a patient at a CMN hospital who is a child injured by violence. By helping the CMN hospitals raise money to treat these children, we we part of a very important movement and I am so honored to have participated.

So, I wanted to chat really quick about "healthy living"... yeaaa. I have been asked several times over the past couple of weeks by my co-workers, who are international students and are not really familiar with pageants, if there is a height/weight requirement to compete. I told them no, the purpose of the swimsuit category is to demonstrate a dedication to healthy living. To me, living healthy is eating properly, and regular exercise. I have worked really hard to keep myself in the shape for the pageant; I actually managed to lose almost 5 pounds in two weeks! At about 5'3" and 111 lbs, I'm very happy with my body and I am definitely dedicated to keeping it healthy! I eat a lot of vegetables; I LOVE brussel sprouts (I'm not even lying), asparagus, broccoli and fresh spinach. Chicken is also a staple in my apartment, as it is a lean meat and a great source of protein. Everyday I work, I have a wheat bagel, a strawberry-banana smoothie and lots of water. I even treat myself to a milkshake every now and then at home! There are little alterations that I have made to my regular, everyday diet to help me stay more fit, and I'd like to share them with you, as they really do make a difference!

- Switching from white starches to whole wheat/whole grain. This includes bread, pasta, bagels, rice, etc. This was especially hard for me, being Italian!
- My daily smoothie does not have any sugar added aside from the natural sugars found in the fruit.
- When I eat my vegetables, I slather them in butter... Light, omega3-enhanced butter.
- I eat my morning cereal (Cinnamon Pecan Special K is SO good) with SKIM milk... make the switch!
- Less than a tablesoon of LIGHT mayo on turkey sandwiches
- EAT BREAKFAST! Eating within an hour or two of waking up kicks your metabolism into gear for the day and allows you to burn the calories you eat throughout the day more efficiently. Two scrambled eggs and a slice or two of wheat toast for breakfast is a great way to start the day.
- Drink water, drink water, drink water. This is especially helpful when you're hungry, or want to eat just because you're bored (which I constantly suffer from...); putting something in your mouth and stomach can help to quiet those hunger pangs.
- Those milkshakes I mentioned? Skim milk and fat free vanilla yogurt blends ice cream/frozen yogurt :) You can't even tell the difference, I swear!
- There are other little tidbits and tips... DON'T drink dark-colored pop (soda, for those of you not from Rochester!) like Coke, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, etc. The syrup stains your teeth and let's not even discuss what the sugar does to your teeth! For this same reason I don't drink coffee, ALTHOUGH I have read that it is a good idea to have a cup of coffee about an hour before a work-out session, because the caffiene will boost your energy and your metabolism. But I'm not a dietician or a fitness expert.

I also work out at least 3 days a week. I run 2 miles at about 6.0 to 6.5 MPH. I used to run a mile at 7.0MPHs, but my wonderful boyfriend told me that running longer is more important than running faster, so I slowed down a little and doubled my distance. Today, I ran 2.25 miles at 6.5 :)! I also do curls, shoulder presses, and lunges (which are GREAT for the butt!) I use 10 lb weights, and will be moving up to 12 lbs weights tomorrow. I've been working very hard to stay dedicated and disciplined during the time before Miss NY. I've had to cut back on some favorites, like pizza and mac and cheese.... trust me, I have three boxes in my cupboard that WILL be devoured the day after Miss NY, win or lose! I work in a cafe, ok, and we serve pastries EVERYDAY! It is hard for me to sacrifice a blueberry bagel (no cream cheese... yuck) for a wheat one, but Miss NY is very important to me and so is knowing that I have self-control and a strong will. So, hopefully the judges will recognize my dedication to healthy living! And, if not, that's ok, because the other outcome of working out so much is just knowing that I care enough about myself to stay healthy. Plus, I'm ready for swimsuit season outside of pageantry!

Thanks for your patience through my coaching, this was a long one. I will be writing again after Colonial Days!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Everyone's entitled to their own opinions....

So, I wanted to take a few minutes and get off my chest MY two cents about the situation surrounding Carrie Prejean, Miss California USA. I've been asked by several people who know I am Miss Finger Lakes and a beauty pageant participant what I think of the whole ordeal. Well, this is what I think!

First of all, I must give credit where credit is due. Carrie Prejean had more guts and more courage than anyone I personally know to stand on a stage with millions of people watching and stay true to herself and her beliefs. We can all attest to the difficulties of standing up for ourselves and being honest; it's not always easy! So, I sincerely applaud her for being so brave.

Now, onto my actual ranting. Supporters of Miss California have constantly questioned those in opposition, "Isn't she entitled to her opinion, just like you are?" Well, yes, she certainly is! She is entitled to her opinions, religious beliefs, sexual orientation (no pun intended), right to bear arms, etc. etc. However, the issue at hand has little to do with her constitutional rights. The problem with Carrie Prejean voicing her opinion that night is that she immediately alienated a tremendous population, particularly citizens of her own state. In voicing her opinion (to which she is completely entitled!), she put a divide between herself and the people that her opinion disagreed with. Someone who is supposed to a represenative of a body of people, be it a state or a country, who is supposed to be a role model that people look up to and want to be like should be more cautious in voicing their opinions, and choose their words more carefully. This doesn't mean she has to lie, or be fake, or be untrue to herself. For example, in response to the question "Should the rest of the states follow suit [in legalizing gay marriage]? Why or why not?":

"I think it's wonderful that we live in a nation where the states can decide which marital unions are within the bounds of the law and morality, and that's exactly what I believe the states should continue to, by using their strong virtues and beliefs as guidelines."

Ok, I just kinda threw that together quickly, but you get the point; there was definitely a better way she could have said 'I don't believe in gay marriage' without ACTUALLY saying "I don't believe in gay marriage." In short, this entire issue is not a matter of who is entitled to opinions and who isn't, it's about a young woman who was supposed to represent her entire state, in her hopes of representing the entire nation, who failed to do so by speaking as Carrie Prejean, not Miss California.

This brings me back to workshop weekend, when Leigh-Taylor (Miss New York America 2008) explained to us that being a titleholder means holding a job. Like any other job, you are a representative of the organization that has appointed you, you are an extension of everyone you work with and for. In the arena of beauty pageants, and *especially* the Miss America Organization, the body of people that you work for is the public. Everyone who will see you on TV, in newspapers, online and on the radio. Every little girl who wants to wear a crown like your crown, every parent who wants their daughter to be like you, every school teacher who wants their students to internalize the lessons you share with them. When you're a titleholder, you're a public figure. You have to present yourself as such, and sometimes you have to learn not so much to compromise your beliefs, but learn when to keep them to yourself in the interest of everyone, the people you work for. Remember, heavy is the head that wears the crown (sooo appropriate for this discussion, yes?): leaders have a great responsibility to those they lead... and yes, beauty queens, you are leaders!!



P.S. If I were to be asked the infamous Perez Hilton question, this is what I would say:

"Our Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. There is certainly no state government that can overturn the very piece of legislation upon which this country was founded. I do not believe that the states in this country should rule any other way than to respect and uphold the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that all citizens are entitled to. If they are so inclined to live their life, exercise their liberty and pursue happiness with a partner of the same sex, then we as a nation are required to uphold those rights. So yes, I do believe that all states should follow suit, because every citizen of this country deserve equal treatment and representation."

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Judging the Miss Sunburst pageant

First off, although this is completely irrelevent, let me just share with y'all that I got straight A's this semester!! :) A 4.0 this semester brings my GPA up to 3.97... not too shabby I must say!! I worked really hard this semester, because last semester I got four A's and one A- so I had to raise the bar! Between working 22 hours a week, taking 15 credits and doing some volunteer work for Vera House (www.verahouse.org), not to mention all of my fabulous Miss Finger Lakes responibilities, I'd say this semester was a big success! Also, CONGRATS to everyone who graduated this year!! You should be extremely proud, a college degree is an incredible accomplishment and I can't wait for mine!

So, this morning (after being awake for 23 hours straight and getting only 3 hours of sleep...) I had the opportunity to judge the day care/school wear optional competition for the Miss Sunburst New York 2009 pageant. Mislead by the "day care" part of the title, I was walking in thinking that I'd be judging the little kids, as I mentioned in my last post. This was not the case! I was judging contestants from ages 6 months old up to 27 years old. Let me tell you... this was NOTTT essay! First of all, how could I judge the little babies?! I just wanted to give 'em all 10's because they were just SO darn cute! I also wanted to take a few home... hey, my purse was totally big enough. It was such an eye-opener, to be on that side of the judge's table and actually have to decide who was worthy of bringing home a title. I sympathize greatly for all pageant judges (especially the MAO judges... how could you decide between all of us outstanding young women!?), because for me, having the authority to help decide in making or breaking someone's pageant experience was a really big responsibility. As a contestant, I know what it's like to want something so badly and be trying your hardest to get it, and after that it's all in the judges hands. The day was really fun, though, I saw a ton of adorable little babies and some very beautiful ladies, and being able to check out a different type of pageantry than MAO was interesting and insightful.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Corning Bachelor Auction

Oh goodness, what a night I had in the name of charity!! Last night was the Corning Bachelor Auction, where over 30 handsome bachelors offered themselves up for auction to a room full of lovely ladies in order to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network, the official national platform of the Miss America Oragnization! Well, drinks were served, door prizes were handed out and chaos ensured. Jessica, Miss Colonial Days 2008 and Katherine, Miss Teen Colonial Days 2008 and I were volunteers that evening, and our VIP table rrrrright at the front by the podium made it possible for us to catch EVERY moment, including all those moments where the bachelors took their shirts off and gave some of the ladies lap dances! That's some good clean fundraising if I've ever seen it. I even got to meet the Mayor of Corning, Tom Reed, and he is hilarious! His wife also seemed like a really genuine, down-to-earth woman. I also had the pleasure of meeting Sarah, the CMN representative. She was so sweet, and was really excited about the event and all of the revenue it would bring in for CMN.

As soon as I figure out how to really navigate blogspot, I will post some pictures from the evening here. For now, though, that's all. Everybody have a wonderful Mother's Day... I will not :-( my boyfriend just left me today to go back to his home in NYC for the summer, so I'm in my empty lil apartment all by myself, and I don't really have a mom, so, this day is kinda sucky for me! Thank god for blogspot to keep me occupied :)

Friday, May 8, 2009

The Duties of Miss Finger Lakes

My experiences as Miss Finger Lakes have brought me to places in this great state that I'd never been before! I got to sit in on a few local preliminaries, and it was wonderful to be in the audience and witness with my own eyes other woman doing what I did, competing for the crown and sash just like me. It elevated my respect for pageant ladies, and it was a lot of fun to watch them put everything that they are into it.

I have to say, it's so incredibly cool to be able to walk into a pageant, with a crown on your head and a sash across your chest, and be greeted by other titleholders and pageant officials as if you're good friends from way back. I'd never realized just what the MAO is all about until being crowned Miss Finger Lakes, but I'm so honored to be a part of it all. The other titleholders that I've met are beautiful, gracious women. They have absolutely blown me away with how polite, kind and personable they all are; not once have I experienced any of that catty-ness you so often hear about in pageants! I can only hope that the friendships I develop throughout this process will be long-term and as sincere as I believe they are now.

Since being crowned, I've had the opportunity to take part in a few really incredible events and experiences. I marched through downtown Syracuse for the Vera House White Ribbon Campaign, with hundreds of men wearing high heels! It was the "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" march and it was a really great event. On April 15th, I marched through the SU campus with over 700 other students during the "Take Back the Night" rally, a national violence awareness movement that actually originated in London a looooong time ago. After the march, we attended a Speak Out, which designated a certain block of time for participants to share their experiences with violence. I was astonished to know that I was in the midst of so many other people who had gone through some of the same things that I have. It really reinfornces the idea that you can't judge a book by its cover. After the Speak Out, I was given the opportunity to speak about daily activism, and what I do within MAO. My invitation to everyone was to be more careful about the way they speak and the words they use, because violence starts with dehumanizing and the stripping of dignity, which can be easily done with words. Below are two Facebook messages I received the next day:

- "I just wanted to applaud you on the speech you gave tonight on activism at Syracuse University's 2009 Take Back the Night. You were right on when you talked about watching what you say because you never knows who's behind you. I've lived with that same motto for many years, and have imposed that on others. Both in college and back in high school, we encounter so many people who use "retarded" and "gay", and how much that actually does affect people. I have spoke to my friends on numerous occasions about watching what they say (some immature kids in high school thought it was humorous to tell jokes about aborted babies--and I said to them just what you told us tonight--you never know if the person behind you actually went through that, and how hard that could have been for them. And to hear you JOKE about it??) It's uncalled for, it's wrong, and it needs to stop.So thank you for spreading that message, you're doing such a wonderful job!Oh, P.S., good luck in the Miss New York Pageant, I'll definitely be cheering for you!"

-"I was at Take Back the Night tonight and really enjoyed what you had to say. It got me thinking about language, and how everyone needs to be thinking harder about their word choice. You also kind of redefined my image of pageant women, which I think is something to be proud of. It's important to have such strong women representing us, even in a field like beauty pageants. Keep speaking out about violence and telling your story, and good luck at Miss NY!"

This made my day when I logged onto Facebook and read these messages. To know that what I had to say has actually touched someone and changed their perspective on something, is exactly what I wanted to be Miss Finger Lakes for, and exactly what I want to be Miss New York for. My motivation within MAO is to promote and encourage change, which is also my motivation for having a social work major, and for wanting to be a future family lawyer.

Also, and this is my most exciting news for this post: I was invited to JUDGE one of the competitions are the Miss Sunburst NY state pageant next weekend!! It's the daycare/school wear competition for the lil youngins, and I'm so excited! Will keep y'all posted with how that goes!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Brittanee Drexel

I wanted to take a minute to post about something INCREDIBLY important, something that we all need to be aware of and internalize right away. We all need to be more aware of our safety and the safety of others, especially when travelling, because you NEVER KNOW what can happen! A girl from my hometown, Rochester, NY named Brittanee Drexel has been missing in Myrtle Beach since last week. The last time she was seen alive was Saturday evening between 8pm and 8:45pm.

Now, I'm not a reporter, so I'm not going to get into the details, name names or point fingers at anyone. This girl is in serious trouble and needs the prayers of everyone out there that she returns home safely. Various news sites, such as foxnews.com, cnn.com, and democratandchronicle.com have been following the story, so if you'd like the details then that is where I will direct you. There is also a Facebook group.

We all need to stop with the drama, the rumors and the nonsense surrounding this issue. This girl is not safe, she is not home with her family where she belongs and she needs the help of everyone who can do anything to find her. Imagine if this were your child, or sibling or cousin or best friend or someone you loved. You would not have time to worry about the gossip, you would just be busting your butt to find them. So please, if you have any involvement with this situation, leave the gossip alone and focus on finding Brittanee. If you have no idea what I'm talking about or are not involved in any way, involve yourself and send a quick prayer for her up to the Big Guy (or to whomever you pray). I don't know her, but I know that I do not want any harm to have come to her.

I encourage everyone that reads this post to talk to their loved ones about what's happened to Brittanee, and to others like Natalee Holloway. I just sat down yesterday with my 14 year old sister, 13 year old step sister, 12 year old step sister and cousin and let them know that somebody always needs to know where they are, no matter WHAT! Hopefully it will sink in with them, and they will at least call me and let me know even though I'm 2 hours away from where they live (they're half siblings, mind you; my mom was once married to their dad, and he's recently re-married, hence all the step sisters). Please, don't ignore this issue and do not for one second think it can't happen to you or someone you know. Assume it will, and talk about it.

My Blog!

So, after encouragment from a few reliable people, I decided to go ahead and make a blog! This is more or less a place for me to chronicle my year as Miss Finger Lakes and all that it entails. I've dont quite a few things since being crowned, so I think I'm going to have to post a reeeeally big blog one of these days and just sort of summarize all that I've been up to so far. But right now, I'm going to share what it felt like to win.

I've been doing pageants for 7 years now, since I was 14 years old. My very first pageant was the Miss Barbizon pageant (I KNOW some of you out there remember Barbizon!). I remember each time I did a new pageant, I came closer and closer to winning, but I'd never won a title. Miss Finger Lakes was my VERY first title! I'd received the Miracle Maker award, for raising the most money, and I'd received the Best Evening Wear award, which absolutely stunned me. I would have completely proud of myself had I walked off that stage with those two awards. However, when they began to call our the runners-up, my mind started to reel a little bit; could I really possibly win?? When they called my name, I totally did that whole crying, fanning my face, "ohmygodthankyousomuch" thing! I was crying because I was in shock; I couldn't believe that after seven years of trying and failing, I'd actually won! I was also crying because I didn't have anybody there to see me win :( My dad lives in a nursing home and I don't really know my mother, and my boyfriend had no ride down to Corning to watch me. There was one person, though, a student from Syracuse who was doing a multimedia project on me for one of her classes. Her name is Mahala, and she compiled this phenomenal story about me. The link is below, I hope you'll watch it and give thanks to all that you may have in your life because I certainly do!!

I couldn't believe that I was ACTUALLY being allowed into the Miss America family! I'd never really been interested in competing in a MAO preliminary, because I didn't consider myself extraoridnarily talent like most MAO contestants are. I actually had to change my talent two nights before Miss Finger Lakes! My talent was originally going to be a dance, cheerleading-slash-hip hop, because I'd been a cheerleader since I was 9 and could totally pull off a fun, entertaining dance for my talent. Two things stood in my way: 1. I got incredibly ill, swine flu-sick, for the entire month of February. I wasn't able to drag myself to the gym to work on my dance; 2. My dance was to the song "Freeze" by T-Pain and Chris Brown... now, for those that don't know (and why would you, this is my first blog...), my platform is "Fighting Back Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault." These are issues that are incredibly personal to me, as I've been a victim of both in my life. There was just NO way I could perform to a Chris Brown song! So, I switched it up at the last minute to a Shakespeare monologue, and I guess it paid off for me! I'm so glad I'm not dancing at the state pageant, either, because there are so many talented dancers competing who are actually trained in their chosen form of dance, and there's no way I could hold a candle to any of them! Singing is, of course, out of the question, unless you're looking for American Idol like Kenny said, in which case I would just be like one of those people on the first few episodes that are so horrible they get humiliated on national T.V. and sent home. My humiliation would be smaller scale, of course, but entertaining nonetheless. At any rate, monologue it is.

Well, that's about all I have for now. Expect more entires, expect me to get emotional and pour my heart out on here, expect a lot of wilf and crazy stuff from me.

Video project by Mahala Gaylord (who is AWESOME, by the way!): http://studentvoice.syr.edu/team.cfm?id=39&storyid=267